Breathe Me
by the.epiphony
Summary: After Sasuke's departure, Sakura was left a broken shell. Now she tries to find love and comfort in all the wrong places. Sakura-multiple. Inspired by niminami's youtube video, "Haruno Sakura-Breathe Me" WARNING: Explicit content in future chapters.
1. Help, I Have Done it Again

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I do not receive any share of the profits. Anything related to Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I also do not own the youtube video "Haruno Sakura – Breathe Me", this video was created by niminami, any recognition goes to them.

This is the fanfic inspired by the youtube video "Haruno Sakura – Breathe Me".

Thank you, niminami, for creating it.

_Breathe Me_

Chapter One: Help, I Have Done it Again.

"_Sasuke-kun! Please, don't leave!" Emerald eyes filled themselves with fresh tears, just waiting to fall._

_Said boy walked along, as if there were no pink haired teammate pleading for him to stay. He did not care, no, instead, he felt as if she were the greatest nuisance to him and his plan for power. It was rather irritating, really, to have to listen to such nonsense, especially from such a weak girl._

"_If you leave, it'll be the same as being alone for me! Please!" she continued to cry out. She needn't bother, there was no stopping him. He had his mind made up, no one was going to change it._

_Didn't they understand he had a duty? Couldn't they see that he could not go on living with the knowledge that his deranged older brother was still out there? No, none of them did. _

"_Sasuke-kun!" Her face was drenched in her tears, the waterfall not seeming to cease its descent. _

I don't have any other choice, _the girl thought, _I have to tell him.

"_Sasuke-kun, I love you!" she cried out._

_Suddenly he was not in front of her, walking away from her. She blinked in surprise, and felt warm breath on the back of her neck._

Sasuke-kun! What are you doing? _She thought._

"_Sakura…"_

_She held her breath._

"…_arigato."_

_Sakura's eyes widened in shock as his words penetrated her mind. She only had but a second to process what he said before a sharp pain was felt on the back of her neck, right on her pressure point. _

_Out cold, Sakura didn't know that he had placed her on the bench, leaving her to sleep silently, until she woke up later. She didn't see the look on his face as he left her, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, and Konoha behind._

_She didn't see the look of contempt on his beautiful face, or hear his thoughts of revenge._

_Sakura was dead to the world around her, until she roused from her deep and unpleasant sleep._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Sakura-chan? Are you listening?"

Her thoughts were immediately interrupted by the blonde's words.

"Hmm? Yeah, what were you saying Naruto?" she asked.

"I was just talking about my training with Ero-sensei, it's going really well! Only a few more months and I'll be able to bring back the teme!" He smiled enthusiastically.

Sakura wanted to smile back, wanted to encourage her ever-hopeful teammate, but found that she couldn't. She couldn't handle talking about _him._ It was too much for her.

After Sasuke had left, Sakura finally began to see in herself what he had seen all along. She was weak, she was vulnerable, she was a cry baby. It stung her to finally see those things, but she was determined to become more. She had sought out the Hokage herself, Lady Tsunade, one of the three legendary Sannin, to train her. She had been reluctant at first, but had agreed. Sakura was put through the most intense training of her life, but it was all worth it. Or so she thought.

When Sakura and Naruto set out to rescue Sasuke with Yamato-sempai and Sai, she thought for sure that they were going to bring him back. They had to; Sakura and Naruto had been training for almost two years straight. There was no way they would fail.

But fail they did, and it hurt Sakura almost as much as the day Sasuke had left. He didn't even fight her, she mused, and he had just openly targeted Naruto. She guessed he didn't think she could fight him at all. That had really pissed her off; she had trained her ass off all for him, to prove to him that she wasn't incompetent, that she could fight for herself, and all he did was try to kill Naruto. And that in itself pissed her off. How dare he completely ignore her after what he did?

She shook her head. It was not good to think about him, she remembered.

"Sakura-chan? Are you feeling well?" Naruto placed a hand on her forehead, "Maybe you should see Granny, you don't look too well."

Sakura gave her best fake-Sai smile, "I'm fine, Naruto, really. Just a lot on my mind is all. You know, hospital duties." She added as an excuse.

Sakura stood from the stool she was sitting on at Ichiraku's.

"Thanks for the lunch, but I'm almost late for my shift. I'll see you later, ok?"

Naruto gave her a smile filled nod and hugged her. His smile didn't leave even as she was walking away, her back to him.

That is, until he realized that she had left him to pay for both of their lunches. The owner stood in front of him with a huge expectant smile on his face, waiting for the money.

"Aww, Sakura-chan! Now you're acting like Kaka-sensei!!" he yelled back at her. Her only response was to turn around and smile while giving a peace sign, "See you later, Naruto!" she shouted back.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The walk back to the hospital was short and lonely, as it always was. No one really said hello to her, she probably wouldn't respond anyway. Everybody knew about her take on Sasuke leaving, everybody knew she was beyond upset.

It was devastating, to say the least, for people who cared about her to see her in this depressed state. One would think she would eventually get over it, right?

Sakura agreed with them, in a sense. She knew she should just get over her feelings.

Sakura knew he wasn't going to come back, there was no way. If he hadn't yet returned, then why in the world would he decide to go back to them now? It just didn't make sense.

It was too bad Naruto was so enthusiastic about bringing Sasuke back, because Sakura had come to think of Naruto as her own brother, and she did not want her brother to be hurt by that bastard of a traitor.

"Hello, Haruno-san! Here's your list of patients this afternoon, and this one is for the evening," the desk lady handed her two clipboards packed with hospital forms. "Oh, and don't forget to bring your evaluations sheets to Shizune, she really needs all of them in by midnight tonight." She smiled at her.

"Ok, thank you. I will be sure to finish those by midnight. Have a good afternoon." Another fake smile.

Sakura turned to walk down the hall, up the stairs, down another hall, and into her office where she could organize herself a little more completely. Her desk was a little more messy than usual, due to the sudden influx of patients arriving.

_Ino-pig, you are _so _lucky your parents own a flower shop, _she thought. _You don't have to think about anyone dying at your hands here._

Sakura sighed. There was no way she was going to be able to clean up her office today. She had _way _too much to do; cleanliness was just going to have to wait.

Sakura looked over her clipboard for the afternoon and sighed. She knew this was going to be a bad day the moment she woke up, and here was the proof of it; Shiranui Genma was the first name on her form, and he was due for a physical.

_Oh, dear Kami, what did I do to deserve this?_ She thought to herself. _I hope he forgot…_

Just as that thought went through her brain, a knock on her office door was heard.

_WHY????_

"Come in!" she called out.

Sure enough, it was the man in question, Shiranui Genma, complete with his signature senbon between his teeth and a devious smile gracing his lips.

"Why, hello there, Sakura-_chan, _so nice to see you!" he said. "Will you be my 'doctor' this afternoon?" She didn't like the way his eyes roamed all over her upper torso, but that was a given; if a woman is within ten feet of Genma, they should be prepared to be ogled at.

"You know damn well I am, so cut the crap," she snarled. Today really was not a good day.

Sakura stood from her chair and walked over to her closet to grab her latex gloves and a stethoscope, then proceeded to grab the Shiranui's arm and lead him to the examination room.

"Ooh, feisty, I love that in a woman," he said suggestively.

Sakura's only response was to roll her emerald eyes at the man. Really, it was ridiculous. She couldn't understand how he got all the women he did when he acted so lecherously.

"Just follow me. This won't take long," she said, more to her self than to him.

Sakura pulled Genma into the room and shut the door. She didn't dare lock the door, just in case she needed a quick escape from a certain _something._

"Remove your clothes," Sakura said in her professional medic tone.

Genma smirked, "Yes, ma'am!"

He proceeded to strip himself of his clothing, all the while keeping a close eye on the medic-nin before him. "You know, Shizune-chan is _way _friendlier with me when she gives me a physical. I don't understand why you are so…_professional. _You don't have to be the perfect ninja all the time, you're allowed to smile every once in a while." He said as he was removing his jounin pants.

"I do my job and I do it well, I don't need to be compared to other medics, skill or abilities aside. I don't mix my personal life or emotions in with my job as a medic." She said. _That's not entirely true, _her inner voice said to her. _I know, but he doesn't know that,_ Sakura thought back.

"Now, Sakura, you and I both know that is not entirely true!" Genma gave her a knowing smirk, "I know about you giving Naruto and Kakashi googley-eyes!" he laughed at her.

Sakura was speechless for about two seconds, but that was enough for any skilled jounin to see through and interpret.

Yes, it was true that Sakura thought her former teammates were indeed attractive, but then again, who didn't nowadays? Kakashi had always been something of a lady's man, and Naruto was the funny, subtly-charming kind of guy that everyone grew to love. Naturally, as she had been their teammate since she was twelve, she had grown attracted to them.

"I don't know what you heard or from whom, but I assure you that nothing of the sort has happened while I gave them their physicals," she said in her most uppity, holier-than-thou voice. His response was to smirk sexily and say, "Sure, nothing _happened_, but you _wish _something happened. You wanted to jump their bones, didn't you?"

She was taken aback. Never had anyone insinuated that she would participate in such vulgar acts. Not to say that she hadn't had sex, she certainly had, but it was the principle of the matter. "Excuse me?! How dare you suggest that! Of course I never would even _think _of doing that! Naruto is my teammate! Kakashi is my _teacher _for Kami's sake! That's just wrong!"

"No need to be so defensive! But you know what they say, 'He who protests too much…' er, what was it? Well, anyway, you are being a little too defensive to be considered innocent, my dear." Again, with that stupid smirk! Didn't it ever go away?!

"Whatever, Genma. Let's just get this over with." She sighed.

The physical proceeded with no further questioning or suggestions, other than the usual "So, you wanna go out sometime?" Genma seemed to always ask. Sakura quickly rid herself of him, and went on to treat the next person on her patient list.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The rest of Sakura's day went by slowly and without anything of importance occurring. She was almost disappointed; she had wanted to have at least a little bit of excitement during the boring afternoon and night shift.

She walked home silently and alone, thinking about what Genma had said earlier that day.

_I know Naruto and Kakashi are good-looking, anyone with eyes can see that. Well, maybe not with Kakashi, unless they've seen him without his shirt on, because I don't think anyone is going to see him without his mask. But seriously, it's so obvious! Of _course _I'm attracted to them! I just don't feel the need to act out on it._

_Keep telling yourself that, _her inner said.

Sakura scoffed as a cool breeze blew over her. No, she didn't think she would ever act out on her emotions, not ever again. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

As she passed by the Yamanaka's flower shop, she spotted Ino, sitting by herself, eyes downcast. It was unusual for Ino to be outside the shop so late at night, even more unusual for her to be alone. She usually had either Chouji or Shikamaru or Sakura herself to drag along wherever she went. So for her to be sitting alone, Sakura knew something bad must have happened.

"Ino?" Sakura called out. Ino immediately looked up, and, Sakura could have sworn, wiped tears away from her cheeks.

"Oh, hey forehead. What are you doing?" she asked.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. What _are _you doing out here? It's after midnight, shouldn't you be home?" Sakura asked a little worried.

"Well, you know…I was just sitting here stargazing. The sky is so clear tonight, don't you think?"

"Pig, I saw you staring at the ground when I walked over here, what's going on? Are you alright?"

Ino looked down again after being seen right through. Of course Sakura would know its _Sakura_. Who else would know besides Sakura? Ino could never hide anything from her, no matter how hard she tried.

"It's nothing really. Just…Kami! Shikamaru makes me so mad sometimes! He's so lazy and he never does anything; just sits around watching those stupid clouds! I don't understand him…" Sakura knew better than to try to calm her down, Ino just needed to get everything out of her system. It wasn't healthy to keep frustrations bottled up.

_Look who's talking,_ inner Sakura said.

_Shut up, can't you see she needs me right now?_ Sakura countered back.

_All I'm saying is maybe you should focus on yourself every once in a while. You need to get your frustrations out too, you're still human, kunoichi or not._

Sakura inwardly growled. Of course her inner was right, but she wasn't willing to admit that just yet. She needed to focus on Ino now, this was her time.

"…And he never listens to me! He's always thinking about that stupid Sand girl! What was her name? Oh, Temari! Kami she is such a bitch! Why can't she like someone from her own village? It's not fucking fair! I want him…" Ino trailed off. She knew that Sakura knew that Ino had feelings for Shikamaru, they just never talked about it. Now that it was out in the open, it felt like she just took a breath of fresh air. But only a breath, it wasn't like she was breathing it, which would be nice, she thought.

"Ino, I know how much you like him, but, you know how oblivious he is. You know how long it took him to realize that Temari liked him? Years! But I don't think it would take that long with you, I mean, you guys were teammates, right? And Temari had only seen him a few times before, so it should be better. And Shikamaru is…well, Shikamaru. He just needs time." Sakura tried to sooth her worries.

"But forehead, I've given him time! I've flirted with him like crazy! I've been suggestive and seductive; you should have seen Chouji's face when he walked up on us when I was trying to seduce him. I thought he was going to have a nosebleed for a week!" Ino smiled at the memory. She looked up at the sky while reminiscing, and noticed how bright the moon was.

"Sakura, look at how bright the moon is!" she exclaimed. Sakura looked up. Yeah, it was bright. Yeah, it was pretty, but Sakura didn't really care about that at the moment. Her mind was full of worries and stress and responsibilities; she didn't have time in her mind to appreciate the beauty of the moon. It was going to have to wait for some other time.

"Ino, I'm sorry but I have to get home; it's late and I have to work the morning shift. I'll see you tomorrow? Maybe we can meet up for lunch or something," she said.

"Yeah, sure. That'd be great. What time do you get off?" Ino turned her smile towards Sakura.

"Um, probably around two-ish. Just come by the hospital and tell the lady at the front desk you're waiting for me, she'll let me know. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, forehead," Ino said teasingly.

Sakura smirked, "Bye, pig."

With that, Sakura continued her lonely walk home, hoping for no more distractions as she really was tired after such a long and boring day. She only had a couple more blocks to go, but she thought it felt like forever.

………………………………….

When she got back to her apartment, she stood in the doorway for a couple of minutes, just looking and thinking.

_I need to find a new apartment closer to the hospital, this is ridiculous. I wonder if I have anything to eat. I don't think I ate anything today…oh wait, I had lunch with Naruto, that's right. What did I eat? Damn, I can't remember. Oh, well. I need to find something to eat, I'm starving._

She walked into her kitchen and opened her cupboard. Nothing. Just an old package of instant ramen that Naruto had given her that she never ate obviously. She turned to the refrigerator. Hmm, there was some milk and a package of grapes. Interesting. Oh, and some butter on the door. She looked at the top of the refrigerator to see if there was any cereal or anything else she could eat. Nope, there was just more ramen. But this one wasn't bad yet; Naruto had just given this one to her about a week ago, so it was still edible. Sakura stood up on her toes and grabbed the package of instant ramen. It was beef ramen. Not her absolute favourite, but it would do.

She sat at her kitchen table, alone eating instant ramen that her best friend had given her because she hadn't been eating.

Sakura was affected by _his _leaving more than she cared to admit.

……………………………………………………………………………………………....

First chapters are supposed to be boring, so cut me some slack. I urge you to watch "Haruno Sakura – Breathe Me" on youtube, which is the inspiration for this fic.


	2. I Have Been Here Many Times Before

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I do not receive any share of the profits. Anything related to Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I also do not own the youtube video "Haruno Sakura – Breathe Me", this video was created by niminami, any recognition goes to them.

This is the fanfic inspired by the youtube video "Haruno Sakura – Breathe Me".

Thank you, niminami, for creating it.

_Breathe Me_

Chapter Two: I Have Been Here Many Times Before

_She sat alone on the swing. No one seemed to notice her, just like when she was in the Academy. Nobody would be out this time of night anyway, everyone would be well asleep. _

_Sakura didn't know what to do. She had never felt as alone as she felt in that moment than in her entire life. She didn't really have anyone at that point; Sasuke had been long gone with Orochimaru, Naruto had left to go train with Jiraiya, and Kakashi had been taking mission after mission after mission, so she didn't see him at all either. She had also been scheduled at the hospital so much it left her little time to see those of her friends still residing in Konoha._

_So there she was, alone and crying. _

_She knew it was pathetic; Sasuke had told her many times. But she couldn't help it. Sakura needed to let out her frustrations, and the only way she could think of was to cry. _

_But it made her feel weak, vulnerable, and incredibly stupid. _

_Sakura did not want to feel that way. She remembered how Sasuke always criticized her and put her down because of her weakness, and she didn't want to be that person anymore. Sakura wanted to change, she wanted to become stronger._

_Even though she knew they weren't there, she said aloud, "I promise I will become stronger for you. I won't let you guys down, not again."_

_From that moment, she proceeded to train, train, train, and train some more. She worked hard, under the apprenticeship of Tsunade, and it showed. _

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sakura woke slowly, her alarm still blaring in her ears. Her eyes felt crusty; she must have been crying in her sleep again. She did that often, as sad as it sounded. Sakura still had nightmares about Sasuke leaving, Naruto leaving, Sasuke and Naruto killing each other, Sasuke murdering Kakashi and Naruto in cold blood right before her very eyes, just to torture her, and everyone she loved leaving her. She just couldn't handle it.

Sakura didn't want to cry in her sleep; it proved that, yes, she was still weak and vulnerable. She hated it.

Sakura sat up in her bed, her navy blue blanket falling to her lap. It was still a little early, but she needed to get ready for her shift at the hospital, it started at 5:30, and it was now 4:12. She could get ready for anything in record time; she learned to do that after only a couple of weeks training with Tsunade, because when Tsunade wants you in her office, she wants you in her office _now. _No excuses.

So Sakura proceeded to drag herself out of bed, and stumbled into her shower. It took a few minutes for the water to get hot, which reminded her; she needed to talk to the maintenance man about getting her hot water heater repaired. She reached her hand in the spray of the water and felt that it was hot enough, stripped herself of the rest of her clothing and stepped in.

Sakura's favourite part of the day was taking a shower. There, under the warm spray of water and lathered in jasmine-scented shower gel, she can forget. Sakura can just not think about everything that has happened, how horribly she was hurt.

And forget she did. All she needed at that moment was to feel the relaxing warm water crash down on her, massaging her back muscles, releasing the tension. She almost fell asleep standing up, but it wouldn't be the first time. This was her outlet.

Finally, as she rinsed the rest of the suds from her hair, she felt the nice warm water turn cold. So she rinsed her entire body one more time, just to be sure there were no soap suds; she didn't want any dry skin, turned the knob and stepped out. Although it was in the middle of the summer and the weather was more than perfect, she still got cold chills as she set foot on her tiled bathroom floor.

Sakura looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't think she was anything special to look at, not really. She didn't know why Genma had always felt the need to ask her out every chance he got; he could get any woman he wanted. But this was Genma she was thinking about, he would fuck anything with tits and a vagina. So the whole her being asked out by Genma all the time was void, she thought. She didn't count.

Sakura leaned over her sink and touched her face. Yes, it was smooth and well taken care of, but it was extremely pale. She was almost as pale as her teammate Sai, which was saying a lot. Her eyes were still the same emerald green, but they seemed to be empty, like she was missing some light in her life. She knew, obviously, what that light was, but she was just a little too stubborn to admit it. Her eyes just seemed so dull. And the bags she had under them seemed to make the dullness stand out a little more. Her hand moved slightly above her eye to her eyebrow. She sighed. She needed to pluck them soon; stray hairs were starting to sprout. Ino would have a heart attack if she saw Sakura had been neglecting her eyebrows. Sakura gave a slight laugh. _Typical Ino, so much more concerned with appearance than with anything else, _she thought to herself.

Sakura leaned away from the mirror, and continued her morning routine of face washing, teeth brushing, and the putting on of clothes, and left the apartment to go to the hospital.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Sakura-chan, is this really necessary? I don't think this is necessary; can we not do this, please? It's unnecessary!" Naruto whined.

"Is that your new word of the day, Naruto?" Sakura asked with a slight smirk on her face. "And yes, this is completely _necessary_," she added.

Naruto had come to visit her around noon. The previous increased amount of patients that had been coming the past few days had suddenly decreased, giving Sakura the time she needed to clean her desk, with Naruto's help of course. It was just his luck that he happened to enter her office as she was cleaning. Yes, his luck indeed.

"But Sakura-chan, this is _your _office, not mine! _You _got it all dirty and stuff, why do I have to help?" he pouted. Sakura just happened to look up at him from behind her desk as he was pouting, and couldn't help but blush.

Sakura was not a stupid woman, she knew delicious-looking things when she saw them, and in that moment, she couldn't think of anything more delicious-looking than Naruto's perfectly pouted lips. She stopped for a second and just stared at his mouth; the curve of his lower lip jutting out teasingly, his upper lip slightly concealed by the lower, the slight stubble that was forming from not shaving that morning dusting his chin and beneath his nose. She couldn't help herself; Sakura could feel the blush forming on her cheeks, sneaking down her face to grace her neck.

Naruto, of course, was completely oblivious to the way his old teammate was staring at him, as he was busy looking up at the ceiling, trying to look disgruntled. When Sakura didn't reply right away, however, he turned his head to look at her, and noticed that she was staring at his face, or more specifically; his mouth and she looked a little lost.

A thought hit Naruto; the look she had on her face in that moment was the same look she used to get on her face whenever she would stare at Sasuke. This obviously boosted Naruto's self esteem quite a bit, considering the woman he had loved for about ten years was looking at him the way he had always wanted her to look at him.

Naruto stared back at Sakura with an equal look of wonderment.

Sakura was not what one would call a firm believer in fate, but she was definitely a firm believer in irony, and it was just _so ironic_ that some stupid medic had to burst in through her office door and interrupt what could have been something amazing.

"Haruno-san! Tsunade-sama needs you in operating room 12-B pronto!" shouted the medic.

Yes, yes. Irony hated her. Sakura immediately stood from her spot behind the desk, and without a single glance at Naruto, quickly fled her office, leaving behind a thoroughly confused Naruto in her wake.

Naruto knew the door slammed behind Sakura, but he could not bring himself to acknowledge it. He just stood there, in the exact same position that he had been in for the past twenty seconds, and thought.

_I know that look…that's the teme's look! She always looked at _him _like that! Does that mean she likes me? Holy crap! Sakura-chan might like me! What should I do? Should I ask her on a date again? I should bring her to Ichiraku's. No, I just brought her there. Gah! What should I do?_

It was possible that Naruto was over-thinking the situation. After all, he _was _Konoha's number one hyper-active knuckleheaded ninja. Naruto finally got his wits together and slowly walked out of his teammate's office.

As he walked down the hall, he heard a few people call his name, say hello to him, and all he did was nod in their general direction, his head too full with thoughts of Sakura and what could have happened had it not been for the medic-nin that had burst through the door. A shiver went down his spine. What _could _have happened?The thought alone made his whole being tingle in unexpected anticipation.

Because Naruto was almost completely oblivious to his surroundings, he accidentally ran into Ino.

"Whoops, sorry Ino-chan. I wasn't looking where I was going, hehe," Naruto chuckled nervously. He was one of the unfortunate many that had been exposed to the wrath of an angry kunoichi, especially the kunoichi of Konohagakure. Naruto cringed away slightly, expecting a severe blow to the head, but fortunately for him, it never came.

_Hey! My luck is beginning to turn!_

Just as the thought passed through his head, a very loud and obnoxious voice pierced his ears, "Naruto! You baka! Watch where you're going next time, why don't ya?!" Ino screamed.

_I thought too soon. But at least she hasn't hit me yet! _Naruto thought.

"I said I was sorry, jeesh. You don't have to be so mad at everything Ino-chan! What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were working at the flower shop?" he asked.

Ino straitened herself out and answered, "I did, but I Sakura and I were supposed to go out to lunch today, but I have to tell her that I can't make it. I got assigned a mission and I leave pretty soon. Do you know where she is?"

Naruto frowned. Yes, he knew where she was. His face began to redden as the memory of what happened in her office hit him. "Yeah, Tsunade-baa-chan had an emergency apparently and had her called in to help. I don't know exactly where though," he gave Ino a look. "You'll just have to find out yourself."

Ino shot Naruto a strange look. _Jeeze, what crawled up his ass and died? _She thought.

"Ok, fine. I guess I will have to wait then." She said back.

Naruto had no idea why he was acting hostile towards Ino. She didn't really do anything to him. Well, nothing more than the usual, he suspected. So he had no reason to treat her so badly. Naruto shook his head slightly. _My brain is just a little screwed up from earlier, that's why I am acting like this, _he told himself.

Naruto gave Ino one last confused look, and left.

_I need to find Kakashi-sensei. He would know what to do._

Ino sat alone in the waiting room. She didn't know how long the emergency was going to be, so all she could do was wait.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Sakura, it's alright. You did everything you could. There was no saving her," said the medic that had gone to get her.

"Yeah, well, you weren't the person who had their chakra in her body trying to save her when she died. I _felt _it. I felt the exact moment she died."

Sakura had only had a handful of patients die while in her care. It was not a common thing. Her success rate was good enough to rival her masters'. She knew she could not save everybody, but she could sure as hell try. And she did try, _so _hard, to save this poor girl. It had been her first mission as a chuunin, and she had been ambushed by enemy shinobi.

When Sakura was inserting her chakra into the young girl's heart, trying to get it beating at a faster rate, she felt the moment the heart gave out; her chakra flow had been blocked, because there was nothing to heal. Her heart was already dead.

"Sakura, it'll be ok. I promise," the medic tried to reassure her.

"No! No, don't tell me that!" she screamed. "Because of me, a little girl is dead! Because of me, a mother and a father are going to be wondering why their daughter never came home only to find out that she is dead! Because of me, someone who very well could have become an ANBU leader, or a genin teacher, or even the next fucking Hokage, is dead! How is it going to be alright? I'm supposed to save lives, not destroy them." Sakura could not control herself; the tears started to well up in her eyes. _Sakura, come on! Ninja aren't supposed to show emotion! You're weak! Sasuke was always right! You are a weak, stupid, annoying, and incompetent shinobi if you are going to let yourself cry over this! People die, get over it! _Her inner self screamed at her. Of course, her inner voice did have a point, though. Sakura knew she needed to be strong, if not for herself, than for everyone else.

The medic stood there in complete shock, having never before seen Sakura get so upset over something. He didn't know what to say about her outburst, and quite frankly, he was _afraid _to say anything. After all, she _was _trained by Tsunade, and the Hokage had one hell of a temper.

Sakura composed herself. "I'm sorry. I should not have yelled at you like that, I was out of line. Please forgive me," she said as she bowed to him.

"Y-yeah, sure. Um, it's alright – I mean, don't worry yourself over it. You just needed to vent, that's all," he said while hoping against hope that she didn't decide to punch him in the face.

"Ok, great. I'm tired. Tell Tsunade-shishou that I'm going home early. I need a break," Sakura said as she was walking out of the operating room.

"O-ok."

The door slammed off of the top hinge as she left.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sakura walked along in the corridor with a scowl on her face. She knew she couldn't heal everyone, every medic knew it. So why did she over-react so badly? It was very unprofessional of her to act that way. _Tsunade-shishou is going to chew me out on this so badly tomorrow. I hope she's not too mad. _She thought. _Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at that medic. Oh, well. What's done is done. _

The corridor was virtually soulless as she walked, which gave her a little time for herself to think. If there was one thing Sakura desperately needed, it was peace and quiet for herself to think in. She just never seemed to be able to get it these days.

When Sakura entered the lobby, she was stopped by the woman at the front desk, "Haruno-san, a Yamanaka Ino stopped by earlier while you were in the emergency surgery room and left a note for you." She handed Sakura the note. "Actually, you just missed her; she _was _waiting here forever."

Sakura took the note and read it quickly.

_Forehead, _

_Sorry, I can't make it to lunch today, Tsunade called Shika, Chouji and I on a mission. Maybe we just hang out another day?_

_Well, since you're in surgery (or were in surgery -.-), obviously I'm not there. So again, I'm sorry we can't chill today, but we'll definitely do it soon!_

_Much love,_

_Ino_

Sakura looked back up at the smiling receptionist and nodded.

"Thank you," she said. Then she turned towards the entrance without a second glance.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Is it just me or is everyone trying to get away from me?_ Sakura thought. Well, it certainly would explain a lot. Sasuke left, Naruto left – granted, he did come back – Ino was sent on a mission when they were supposed to go out for lunch, and Kakashi just wasn't around anymore. All of her precious people were just slowly trickling out of her life.

Maybe she was being a _little_ melodramatic. That would also explain a lot.

She again walked home alone, although this time it was a bright and sunshiny day, instead of a dark and moony night. Sakura passed countless numbers of civilians and shinobi alike, enjoying the beautiful weather, and she couldn't help but feel slightly envious of them. Yes, she could just as easily take a day off and relax on a nice day with her friends, but taking a day off from the hospital meant sacrificing numerous lives. Sakura just couldn't deal with that.

She passed the Yamanaka's flower shop, the weapon shop, the ramen stand, the scroll shop…

Eventually Sakura deduced that she was just not going to go home, considering she had been circling Konoha for about an hour. The sun was starting to descend, but was still clearly visible. Sakura actually hated this time of day, around two or three, because the colors the sun blared gave her a migraine, which she was told by a number of people was extremely odd.

She had come to a halt just outside the old Uchiha compound. It looked so empty, so void.

_Well, duh! Nobody_ _has lived there for about a decade! Of course it's gonna look like complete shit!_ Inner Sakura ranted.

Sakura sighed heavily. There was no reason for her go there, it was not as if he was coming back either; she had come to terms with that. Looking back on her genin self, she knew how foolish she was. Sasuke would never ever love her, let alone like her. Hell, she was quite convinced the Uchiha heir was gay, since he never showed any romantic interest in _any _of the girls or even women of Konoha. Sakura smirked slightly at the thought.

_Hehe, Sasuke, gay. That _is _a funny thought. It would be even more humorous if it were true! _Again, her inner voice decided to speak out.

She let the smirk stay on her face for a few more moments.

"Well, hello there, Sakura-chan," said a voice behind her. Sakura immediately turned on her heel and faced the speaking man.

"Oh, hey, Kakashi, what are you doing here?" she asked with a slight sigh of relief. _Thank Kami it was only him who caught me here._

"Oh, you know, just wondering around on the road of life. What are _you _doing here? Not sulking again, I hope," he said, his right eye crinkling to show her he was just being playful.

"I was just taking a walk. No reason I ended up here," she finished lamely. Sakura looked down at her feet, inspecting her dirty toes. _I need to take a bath when I get home._

"No reason, huh? Sure, sure. I'll buy that one," again with the eye crinkle. "Did you plan on staying here all night? It's going on five o'clock. You should get home so you can rest."

Sakura looked up at him with dark emerald eyes, glaring. "Oh, so even _you've _heard about it? Man, nobody can keep their fucking mouth shut, can they?" she muttered angrily.

"Well, just so you are aware, you can try to talk to people about these things. Like Naruto, Ino…" he trailed off.

"Naruto and Ino…yeah. I guess you're right," she said quietly. Sakura turned away from him.

"Well, are you alright, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, his tone turning slightly serious.

Sakura thought for a moment. She _could_ tell him the truth, she _could _tell him that she was hurting inside every single day, she _could _tell him how weak and stupid she was, but she just _couldn't_.

"Fine." She answered, still not facing him.

Unbeknownst to her, Kakashi was looking at her with an unreadable expression in his eye. He had a feeling something was bothering her, and it might not have anything to do with the incident at the hospital.

Sakura on the other hand, was waging a war inside herself. Half of her wanted to tell Kakashi everything, to let him console her and whatnot. The other half wanted to be left alone, no human contact of any kind.

"Alright, if you insist," Kakashi said, his tone a little disbelieving. "But I hope you know that you have many people who would listen." And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving Sakura to her thoughts.

If truth be told, the more dominant side of her wanted to be around people. Sakura needed to be in a crowd of people with lots of life to make her feel safe and secure. But for some reason, she shut out that part of her.

Sakura stood staring at the gate to the Uchiha compound for a few more seconds, and then she too turned to leave, though in the opposite direction as Kakashi.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sakura had this old navy blue blanket that she had received as a gift from her Uncle Namayate when she was about six or seven years old. She loved that blanket with all of her heart, more than she loved Sasuke. No matter what happened in her life, she could always just curl up with her blue blanket in a small ball and just cry. The blanket wouldn't judge her, of course, it was a freaking_ blanket._ For roughly sixteen years she had that blanket, and she wasn't planning on throwing it away any time soon, especially since she was feeling extremely depressed lately. It was her security.

When Sakura finally made it back to her apartment, she immediately started to rid herself of her clothing while steadily walking towards her bathroom where she would take a shower.

While the water was warming up, Sakura again examined herself in the mirror. She looked exactly the same as she had the last time she showered. Sakura couldn't tell by looking at herself that she had accidentally let a little girl die that day. Good. That was exactly what she had been aiming for.

Sakura stuck her hand under the spray of the water and felt it was warm enough to shower in. She felt the warm droplets cascade down her back and past her rear, sliding down between the soft mounds of her breasts, and disappearing in the small patch of pubic hair between her legs.

She stood under the cascading water until it turned cold, then stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel.

Sakura was still fighting with herself. She had wanted to tell Kakashi how much she was hurting, but she just couldn't find the guts to do it. Sakura chuckled darkly. Of course, she had killed numerous amounts of people, but she couldn't even talk to someone she trusted about her feelings. What did that say about her? Maybe she couldn't _really_ trust Kakashi after all; maybe it was her female intuition telling her that she shouldn't trust anyone around her. _No, _she thought, _that's just ridiculous. I have known Kakashi for about ten years; of course I can trust him._

Sakura walked to her closet and picked out a tank top and a pair of plain underwear; comfort always came first with her.

Once she was dressed, she walked over to her blue blanket and wrapped herself in it.

Whenever Sakura had that blanket secure around her, she felt like there was nothing in the world that could hurt her, not even herself. And there were times when she did indeed feel unsafe with herself.

Sakura had a feeling that she was becoming mentally unstable, she just didn't know how badly yet.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kakashi sat on his worn sofa. He knew there was something going on with his ex-student; he just needed to find out what. And considering _which_ ex-student he was dealing with, he knew it was going to be one of the most difficult tasks he had taken on, because everyone who knew Sakura knew that she was a force to be reckoned with. If she didn't want you to know something, you sure as hell were never going to know it.

He ran his hand through his unruly silver mane, sighing in exasperation. _I can't stand to see her like this, _he thought. _She is like another Rin with the way she is acting. I don't want to lose her too. I wonder if Naruto has noticed anything._ He snorted. Naruto may have matured considerably in the past ten years, but he was still completely oblivious to anything pertaining to the opposite sex. It would literally be a miracle if Naruto figured out what was bothering Sakura. Hell, Kakashi was _way _more skilled with women, and even _he _couldn't figure out her problem yet.

_Yet…_he thought.

_I just hope you're alright, Sakura. Please be alright._

Kakashi wouldn't be able to handle it if another one of the people he was supposed to protect had gotten hurt.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sorry for the long update, life got in the way. Hope you enjoyed.


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